In the four years I have been married, some of the most frustrating moments for me have been the most rewarding. Moments of strife and disagreeing slowly shape me into a more patient, humble and loving wife - if I allow them to.Read More
How Do You Know When You're Really in Love?
With it being "wedding season," your mind may be focused on planning a wedding, attending an upcoming wedding or maybe you hope to be married soon. My heart is not that your focus will be on the details and products of the wedding industry, but the reason for your love for the person you are with. Does it just feel good? Does that person make you happy? If you are getting married this year or hope to someday, I hope that you think deeply about those words, "I love you." What do they mean to you? And will your love for that person really last a lifetime or will it fade when life gets hard?
Recently, I was chatting with a friend of mine about how to know when you love someone. I was sharing with her when I first told my husband, Isaac, "I love you," and how I felt confident saying three words and choosing him as my main man.
Thinking back, it seemed so obvious. I didn't hesitate when I said it. But when I really try to remember how I knew, it's hard to describe. It almost seems too simple.
Once I got to know Isaac over the course of a year, I knew that I didn't want to even try to do the rest of my life with anyone else. I knew he wasn't perfect, and there were things we disagreed on. But there are a lot of things we do agree on, like our morals, our belief in Jesus Christ, a growing family and activities we enjoy together.
We are also compatible, meaning we are both introverts and home-bodies. We love our alone time to reflect and gain back energy from a long day. And we love just lounging and being at home. We also love to watch movies, travel, play with our dogs and eat out. Overall, we just enjoy the same activities and being with each other.
Of course, there are also activities we enjoy doing without each other as well, and that is okay. In fact, that is healthy. We are still our own persons, so we do not need to always be with one another to be happy. He loves video games and Oklahoma State football. I love watching sappy, romantic movies and working on my calligraphy. He loves his weekly "guys night" to do manly things that I can never do with him. And I love to have a deep conversation with a girl friend over wine to discuss womanly things, which he can never do with me either simply because he is not a girl.
We don't complete each other. We go well together. We work well together. We enjoy each other, and can do life together. He's my main person over friends and family. We encourage each other and are there for each other no matter what.
I knew I loved him when I knew I didn't want this life with anyone else. I didn't want the daily grind with any other man. I wanted the rest of my life - the good, the bad and the ugly - to be walked with this man.
But he is a choice. Even when things get hard, and you know they will (you're fooling yourself if you think life with your spouse-to-be won't get that hard, because "your love conquers all"), you must continue to choose your person each day.
Isaac is my perfect choice for our imperfect life here on earth.
So, I love him.
Keep Calm and Live Life
The other night I listened to KC Clifford at a house concert. Her folk-style music, lyrics and personal descriptions of the songs really spoke to me. While sharing honest stories about her life, struggles and joys, she shared some inspiring words that her grandmother said to one her.
"You have one life to live. Go live it, and the rest will work itself out."
Throughout my life, I tend to be always looking forward to and planning the next big thing. When I was a young girl, I wanted so badly to be 13 - a teenager. Then, 16 so I could drive. Once I met my husband, it seemed like I was planning our wedding in no time. A couple years of marriage, and we are talking about babies. Life really is one big moment after another. It makes it difficult to smile at the moments that are happening now when we are always looking forward to things we don't have.
But what if we just stopped for a minute and reveled in the now a little bit more?
I don't want to look back on life one day sad that I didn't enjoy the sweet moments that were actually happening. The next big things in my life will happen eventually, and it will all work itself out. But I need to live the life I have right now and enjoy it to its fullest.
So right now, I have a husband who is so kind, thoughtful and loving. We have two dogs who make us laugh and give us so many snuggles. We have a quaint home that gives us a roof over our heads and a warm place to sleep in a safe neighborhood. And I have developed a fun and challenging design business that gives me a chance to meet such beautiful, kind and talented individuals.
What should you be cherishing right now in your life?