How Do You Know When You're Really in Love?
With it being "wedding season," your mind may be focused on planning a wedding, attending an upcoming wedding or maybe you hope to be married soon. My heart is not that your focus will be on the details and products of the wedding industry, but the reason for your love for the person you are with. Does it just feel good? Does that person make you happy? If you are getting married this year or hope to someday, I hope that you think deeply about those words, "I love you." What do they mean to you? And will your love for that person really last a lifetime or will it fade when life gets hard?
Recently, I was chatting with a friend of mine about how to know when you love someone. I was sharing with her when I first told my husband, Isaac, "I love you," and how I felt confident saying three words and choosing him as my main man.
Thinking back, it seemed so obvious. I didn't hesitate when I said it. But when I really try to remember how I knew, it's hard to describe. It almost seems too simple.
Once I got to know Isaac over the course of a year, I knew that I didn't want to even try to do the rest of my life with anyone else. I knew he wasn't perfect, and there were things we disagreed on. But there are a lot of things we do agree on, like our morals, our belief in Jesus Christ, a growing family and activities we enjoy together.
We are also compatible, meaning we are both introverts and home-bodies. We love our alone time to reflect and gain back energy from a long day. And we love just lounging and being at home. We also love to watch movies, travel, play with our dogs and eat out. Overall, we just enjoy the same activities and being with each other.
Of course, there are also activities we enjoy doing without each other as well, and that is okay. In fact, that is healthy. We are still our own persons, so we do not need to always be with one another to be happy. He loves video games and Oklahoma State football. I love watching sappy, romantic movies and working on my calligraphy. He loves his weekly "guys night" to do manly things that I can never do with him. And I love to have a deep conversation with a girl friend over wine to discuss womanly things, which he can never do with me either simply because he is not a girl.
We don't complete each other. We go well together. We work well together. We enjoy each other, and can do life together. He's my main person over friends and family. We encourage each other and are there for each other no matter what.
I knew I loved him when I knew I didn't want this life with anyone else. I didn't want the daily grind with any other man. I wanted the rest of my life - the good, the bad and the ugly - to be walked with this man.
But he is a choice. Even when things get hard, and you know they will (you're fooling yourself if you think life with your spouse-to-be won't get that hard, because "your love conquers all"), you must continue to choose your person each day.
Isaac is my perfect choice for our imperfect life here on earth.
So, I love him.