In the four years I have been married, some of the most frustrating moments for me have been the most rewarding. Moments of strife and disagreeing slowly shape me into a more patient, humble and loving wife - if I allow them to.
My husband Isaac is not afraid to challenge me, push me or debate with me. I, on the other hand, hate strife. Not agreeing or being angry make me uncomfortable. In those moments that are difficult, I could choose to store up anger for him and push away from him emotionally. But I try my hardest to really hear and digest what he says, his thoughts and feelings. I really look inside myself to make sure my opinions and feelings are justified. I try to see things from his point of view, even when I do not agree.
Sometimes this is done a few hours later after I've cooled off or the days following a heated argument. :)
In these tense moments, whether I agree or not, I am challenged to be patient and gentle with Isaac. Regardless of my opinions, it is important for the sanctity of my marriage to show patience and gentleness out of my love for him.
And it requires a lot of strength and humility to try to put myself in his shoes to understand his perspective even if I don't agree at all.
Sometimes during difficult moments I recognize that maybe I am wrong and being selfish. Maybe Isaac's point of view is right or he has a good point. And I feel I am better person for growing and seeing a new perspective.
And sometimes I come to the conclusion that him and I are not on the same page and don't agree on a situation. And I am okay with that. Did you read that?
It is okay to not always agree.
It is okay to see things differently sometimes or just for a season.
Right now, I am in a season where I recognize that we don't see eye to eye on some things, and I'm learning to be content with it. When we were newlyweds, it bothered me so much I couldn't sleep at night. It caused me to think I had maybe married the wrong person. I thought we always had to be on the same page and work everything out eventually.
But I realize that God is in control of me, Isaac and our marriage. God is working in us and speaking to us at different paces. Sometimes I might hear something and Isaac doesn't, or Isaac hears something from Him, but I don't understand it at all.
No matter what, I'm learning to trust in God and love my husband no matter what. I stick by His side, I bear with him in love no matter what the disagreements may be. I work to keep an open mind and stay humble, gentle and patient. (I say "work," because it's not easy, and It's a daily choice.)
Why? Because I vowed that I would. :)
UPDATE: To support and promote healthy marriages, please visit my shop to download the above calligraphy art print to frame in your home and remind you you to love your spouse when you'e having hard time. :)