Advice From an Oklahoma Newlywed and Former RKD Bride

Advice From an Oklahoma Newlywed and Former RKD Bride

As a wedding calligrapher and stationer, I have a big heart for keeping marriages strong and decreasing the number of divorces in our communities. The marriage vows we say to each other are the most important words you will ever say. Marriage can be the best journey and sometimes the hardest journey.

I have reached out to a former bridal client Ashton to share some of her newlywed and wedding planning advice :) 

Newlyweds and former Rachel Kathryn Designs clients Ashton and Brent

(RKD) How long have you been married? (Ashton) We have been married for a year and a half. 

How is married life going? Married life is great! It's been a busy first year but I wouldn't change a thing. 

What is the best thing about being married? Knowing your best friend is always going to be there for you and having someone to do the big life events with but also the small things, like waking up on a Saturday and going to the Farmer's Market together.

Is the first year of marriage what you expected? It's been so much more! To say we've been busy, would be an understatement. We moved from Texas back to Oklahoma, took new jobs, are wanting to buy our first home, traveled quite a bit, watched several friends tie the knot/have babies and made sure to soak up every moment of it together.

Describe some expectations you might have had that were true and some that were unrealistic.  I think the biggest unrealistic expectation people have for their marriage is that every day will be like the honeymoon, and that's just not true.

Life happens and it's easy to get in a daily routine that can feel like a rut, but it's important to remember to put your relationship first. I have found that it's 100% true to remember to communicate, and to communicate effectively. 

What have you learned about yourself in your first year? That i'm not as patient at times as I thought I was. I think being honest with yourself is a big part of growing together and bettering your relationship. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. 

What have you learned most about your relationship? That distance really does make you stronger. Brent moved to OK almost 4 months before I did. So, those months without him (and the dog) were hard but we made it a point to see each other almost every weekend and came out on the other side feeling even stronger about our relationship.

When you were planning your wedding, what is one thing you wish you would have done differently? I definitely waited last minute to design and print my own wedding programs...the last minute stress was not welcome and could have been avoided. I just let it slip my mind. 

What wedding planning advice do you have for other engaged couples? Stick to your budget! But also, don't let the pressures of friends and family get to you. If you want a long or short engagement, go for it. It's YOUR big day, it should be everything you've ever dreamed of.

Just don't stress about the little things, at the end of the day it's just important you're officially married and remember at the end of the day, nobody will remember what color your napkins were.

What advice do you have for other engaged couples to help them not lose sight of their relationship in the midst of the wedding planning? Keep the wedding planning light and fun. Make sure to involve one another throughout the planning process.

What would you like to tell soon-to-be brides about marriage? It's a fun ride! But be sure not to take yourself too seriously. Remember to compromise and make decisions together. I also think it's important to laugh often and to remember what brought you all together in the beginning. 

What do you look forward to most in the next 5 years of marriage? Buying our first house, traveling together and starting a family <3 

How Do You Know When You're Really in Love?

How Do You Know When You're Really in Love?

With it being "wedding season," your mind may be focused on planning a wedding, attending an upcoming wedding or maybe you hope to be married soon. My heart is not that your focus will be on the details and products of the wedding industry, but the reason for your love for the person you are with. Does it just feel good? Does that person make you happy? If you are getting married this year or hope to someday, I hope that you think deeply about those words, "I love you." What do they mean to you? And will your love for that person really last a lifetime or will it fade when life gets hard?  

Recently, I was chatting with a friend of mine  about how to know when you love someone. I was sharing with her when I first told my husband, Isaac, "I love you," and how I felt confident saying three words and choosing him as my main man. 

Thinking back, it seemed so obvious. I didn't hesitate when I said it. But when I really try to remember how I knew, it's hard to describe. It almost seems too simple. 

Once I got to know Isaac over the course of a year, I knew that I didn't want to even try to do the rest of my life with anyone else. I knew he wasn't perfect, and there were things we disagreed on. But there are a lot of things we do agree on, like our morals, our belief in Jesus Christ, a growing family and activities we enjoy together. 

We are also compatible, meaning we are both introverts and home-bodies. We love our alone time to reflect and gain back energy from a long day. And we love just lounging and being at home. We also love to watch movies, travel, play with our dogs and eat out. Overall, we just enjoy the same activities and being with each other. 

Isaac and I on a recent trip to Hawaii.&nbsp;

Isaac and I on a recent trip to Hawaii. 

Of course, there are also activities we enjoy doing without each other as well, and that is okay. In fact, that is healthy. We are still our own persons, so we do not need to always be with one another to be happy. He loves video games and Oklahoma State football. I love watching sappy, romantic movies and working on my calligraphy. He loves his weekly "guys night" to do manly things that I can never do with him. And I love to have a deep conversation with a girl friend over wine to discuss womanly things, which he can never do with me either simply because he is not a girl. 

We don't complete each other. We go well together. We work well together. We enjoy each other, and can do life together. He's my main person over friends and family. We encourage each other and are there for each other no matter what. 

I knew I loved him when I knew I didn't want this life with anyone else. I didn't want the daily grind with any other man. I wanted the rest of my life - the good, the bad and the ugly - to be walked with this man. 

But he is a choice. Even when things get hard, and you know they will (you're fooling yourself if you think life with your spouse-to-be won't get that hard, because "your love conquers all"), you must continue to choose your person each day. 

Isaac is my perfect choice for our imperfect life here on earth. 

So, I love him. 

This is our life - at home, on our back patio chillin' with the dogs. :)

This is our life - at home, on our back patio chillin' with the dogs. :)